So as I'm sitting here trying to track down years old friends from a time in my life now long past, view their amazing artistic works again, and smile at all the joyous memories they hold my searches have taken me off this site as well. Back to the now not really used Photobucket (was still popular oh eight years or so ago LOL), back to the old sites that aren't deleted yet, and back through many years old emails. In particular I was searching for two specific people, and two specific pieces of art from probably seven years ago when I started this venture elsewhere. (PS if anyone knows where I can find someone who went by the name Pony, and did a photomanip/had a character named Ceres ((black mare, white mane and tail, used on a RPG)) and someone who went by the name Bruja, and did a photomanip/had a character names Leonidas ((dappled stallion, used on the same RPG)) I'd be amazingly thankful if you sent me their way! I really want to see those pieces of art once more if they still even exist, those two people and their characters are still some of my fondest memories of that time and as a very visual person seeing the images again will bring back a flood of tucked away happy memories that are but hazy for the most part recollections now.
However I'm getting side tracked here. It was in this crazy search of mine that I came across some old emails....and my old Photobucket account....things I had completely forgotten about in the many years that have now past.
OWCH. I forgot what type of person I was like at 13-15 XP. I'm utterly horrified to come across things that remind me of some of my needless to say less than savory actions back then. That wasn't really a good time in my life for me, lot of heavy shit going on but that is zero excuse and I damn well know it. I'm glad I've learned and grown from who I was then but the shame of some of my deeds horrifies me. So anyone from that time now past... (you might remember me as Indecision(particularly those that knew me during this time), Cloudy, Rainy, Windy, Mosseh, Fogged, Coconut, Andromeda....think that was all the things I once went by) I'm horrified and shamed by some of my actions of those days that I fear may have permanently torn your old friendship from me. I am horribly sorry for my actions of then, and yes I do realize I have zero right to forgiveness from you not to mention the other people on DA I owe apologies to (and yes I plan to track down those artists and apologize to them if I can find them). Heck if I knew what the people went by on here, if they are even still on here I'd track them down too. It may seem ridiculous to even mention this so very many years later but I know at the time I did not own up to my actions and truly ever apologize. So better late than never I sit here in horror at those deeds and wish to say I'm deeply sorry to all I may have hurt at that point, I'm distinctly not proud of who I was then and it offers me very little comfort to know I'm a far cry from that person now. I doubt any of you will even see this but at least I've finally done what I should have very long ago. And if I can manage to stumble across any of you in my continuing search for Bruja and Pony I plan to personally apologize to each of you.
On a less humiliating note running across all these times past makes me want to try my hand at photo manipulation again. My past attempts well I am not even going to get into that, but now I want to try again and recreate some scenes that I hold so fondly in my memories. Not sure if I've gotten any better at it though LOL. I stopped trying quite some time ago and stuck with photography since. But this has stirred an old love of traditional arts that I'm now struggling to tamp back down. -cringes- Maybe it'll go a little better this time.
And apparently it seems I have a seven year old account here as well o.O. Really forgot about that one, and now I think I remember why I avoid doing manips. Had to leave that account behind after the cruelty of others. Ah hmmm maybe I should indeed stick to photography. People seem less vicious in this form of art.